There is war and it creates tension for all of us. Should I have an opinion of not? Do you know people in the areas where there is war, of do is family still there? Were you born in what is now a warzone, and you recognize images? In the meantime, you have to work and participate in the rat race of a working existence or start and learn a new language. In a polarized country as the Netherlands currently is, it can be hard to find your way, even for Dutch people. And still your work asks your full attention and commitment.

A popular expression nowadays is ‘But how?’. That expression fits the situation. In the newspaper ‘Parool’ dating the 28th of February 2024 Dmytro Synyak expresses how his current situation emotionally tears him apart. On the one hand he feels he must fight at the front, which is not something he is good at, and on the other hand his family and his handicapped mum are safe. His kids follow Dutch education and both he and his wife have a job and they are safe.

In a different world you can find your way, learn another language, get to know different rituals, and work and it can be fun. If you are a young expat with lots of opportunities it can be a great experience to work abroad. People will welcome you; you can develop yourself, and you travel through exiting new surroundings. If the new surroundings are to your liking, you might even stay, but you can also return home. You have a choice.

If you are young in the Netherlands and just finished your study, you can take a break. Or if you work you can take a sabbatical. You travel, study, do volunteer work and experience new worlds. It can be an enriching experience filling your symbolic backpack with memories and impressions. You have some distance towards you won country, culture and habits and you learn new perspectives and even to revaluate what you have. Some people stay in a new surrounding that suits them; others return home. They have the choice.

If you are a refugee from a country at war, and your existence is under threat, you can take the decision to flee. You don’t take a first-class holiday trip joyfully anticipating a holiday. No, you leave everything you love behind you, everything that is so trusted, and you know you cannot return. You have no choice.

This is a different journey. As refugee you have a one-way ticket to uncertainty. An existence that puts you back score -10, you must prove yourself all over again and concur your new position. You do this in a country that might not be very open and welcome to you, maybe even blaming you for things without you knowing anything about this country.

At the same time information reaches you about family friends and loved ones, who die, disappear or a tortured. Times ago you were celebrating live with them, and everything seemed cool. Now you see images of streets you used to walk in with dead bodies, fires and bombing, hunger, and misery. Your journey was traumatic, and your head is more than full, and sleeping is difficult. These images again and again. But you had no choice.

Politicians in this new country say immigration is too much. Colleagues make remarks about people only come to their country for a better income. Does this include you in their thinking? Are you even safe here? Did you make the wrong choice?

Today the CEO of the company where you work gave an inspirational speech, everybody needs to work with the same focus, work hard and together we will create beautiful results. But if feels so empty even though you know you must participate. But how?

If you see a colleague in need of some support, be gentle and do something nice, you never know what that person must endure. Not only for people from abroad, but in these times of war they should have extra attention from our side. You can choose.